i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
