I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
