I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
