Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
