So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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