Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
