can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
