When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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