their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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