you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
