What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
