i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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