I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
