At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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