; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
