Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
