you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
