his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
