How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
...so i touched it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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