peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
