My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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