he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am naked and annoyed.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
