we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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