He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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