Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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