It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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