its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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