Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
