but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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