And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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