I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
