You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
