her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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