Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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