I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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