How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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