my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
