Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
