i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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