in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
