I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
