I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
