It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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