You were right. It hurts to walk today.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
