I bet he comes in French.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
