I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
