I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
