I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
