i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have fence marks all over my body
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
