if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
